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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Mac and Me

Alright, Buttercup, this may make or break us: macaroni and cheese on Thanksgiving? A tradition? An interesting choice? Or just something mockable?

Some of my "friends" have never had mac and cheese on Thanksgiving and accuse it of being an "anytime" kind of food, while Thanksgiving meals are reserved for "traditional" foods like... turkey and mashed potatoes. And, you know, bread. That's a rare one.

Really, you can't make room for one more (and my impulse here is to use the f-word just so you understand the severity of this situation) starch? Your precious (and I really want to use perhaps my favorite swear here, the Lord's-name-in-vain one just because I know it'll tick you off more) cholesterol can't afford the mac-and-cheese hit? Your Yankee (and faux Yankee) superiority won't allow room for this, one of few traditions to which I adhere? And, thanks to mean Bryan and his hatin', I find out this was the plot for a 'Friends' epsiode, the lowest of the low, the spiteyest of the spiteful?

Have we come to this? This is what does us in? You won't allow delicious, homemade, baked cheese and pasta goodness at your table?

I used to love you, you know. I don't even know who you are any more.

I've got to ready the traditional "I-can't-believe-your-sister -is-doing-this-to-me" headdres and the "What do you really do all day?"kilt.

Guess who isn't coming to dinner at your house. I'll be celebrating by eating macaroni till it comes out my nose.

7 Comments:

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Cryptobadger said...

Somehow I always knew it would be something like this that would destroy our friendship. It could have been religion, political views, ethical differences.

But no.

It's Macaroni-and-Freakin'-Cheese.

Not at my Thanksgiving table.

Hell no.

You're a space alien. You have two heads. You're from another dimension, where Mac and Cheese is considered the highest delicacy, and sumptuous turkey is relegated to dog food duty.

This is a time of gratitude, you whacko.

And, boy, am I glad I'm not having Mac and Cheese for Thanksgiving.

Thanks for turning my world upside-down. Now I'm expecting my Mom to call me up and make sure we've got enough Mac and Cheese on Thursday. And we'll all sit down to eat, and Rod Serling will take his place at the head of the table, sharpening his carving knife. It will be then that I discover that they're not serving turkey, they're serving ME!

You've ruined this holiday for me.

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger sweetassgrandma said...

I'm willing to accept your tradition; not because it's right, but for the reason that I hate all foods Thanksgiving.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger feminist chick said...

Do you do anything special with your holiday Kraft mac 'n cheese, like chop up hot dogs in it? Do you make a nice Hamburger Helper for your Christmas dinner?

And don't crap on Thanksgiving traditions until you add a little halupki into your festivities. Ahhh, Romanian goodness.

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger Digital Joey said...

I don't like any of you. Except Emily.

Hey, I know how we could ruin MORE food: let's combine stuffed cabbage and bread!

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger feminist chick said...

Hey, big jerk... halupki has no bread. Halupki ingredients are restricted to very stinky foods. I suppose it had something to do with warding off Vlad the Impaler back in the motherland.

See, THAT'S tradition. Go back to your Kraft now, sortarunnerboy...

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger Cryptobadger said...

Yikes, this may be a hotter topic than the grammar.

Hey, at least you don't have my family's Christmas traditions. Second-generation Norwegian, second-generation Scottish here. You don't even want to KNOW what crap we eat at Christmas-time. Crazy foreigners.

Don't tell my mom I called it crap. My holidays are jacked-up enough as it is.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Mir said...

Yeah, I'd jump into the melee, except that I don't give a hoot about the culinary traditions of Thanksgiving.

In my family, ordering pizza or ribs is always considered a strong showing of gratitude come the fourth Thursday of November.

This year? We're going out to eat.

Eat whatever you want... even if it is TOTALLY WRONG IN EVERY WAY!

 

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