Half a Month There on Foot

You will find me at the corner of Speed and Power

Monday, July 31, 2006

I'd like to solve, Pat

I'm declaring blog bankruptcy. And declaring that I should probably spell check "bankruptcy."

I've alluded to anecdotes, wanted to write stuff I haven't, and gernally have been not making with the words. But I'm declaring blog bankruptcy. If I can get to the anecdote, I will. I'll stop feeling the guilt that I haven't told you about the Right On Band or the baby bird rescue. Not that you wanted to know, but I wanted to figure out how to communicate it to you.

Stupid work...

Monday, July 24, 2006

They aren't booing, they're just saying "Dave"

Just fired up Letterman from last week while I do some stuff. They're doing a bit with a bunch of sight gags like "Celebrity Pool Water" and "Ben & Jerrr's Backyard BBQ ice cream." He got to an poorly executed, lame "contact lens sunglass thingy" and after the lukewarm audience reception they cut to tape of Kevin Eubanks, Jay Leno's bandleader, laughing and rocking in place.

Some nights The Late Show reminds you of how good they can be.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Update: special "Justin Baker" edition

Q: What's funnier than watching me stumble through a dap handshake with a 7-foot tall former JMU men's basketball power forward I've met twice, ending in a hug?

A: Watching Ryan stumble through a dap handshake with a 7-foot tall former JMU men's basketball power forward he's met twice, ending in a hug.

Color Me Impressed

Never saw this live, gotta live it through muddy video on YouTube.

Kevin Smith vs. Joel Siegel

Shark Tale: A Halibut Good Time.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

C'mon, did Bubba make this big a scene? OR Born Again (minus Frank Miller)

http://www.crooksandliars.com/posts/2006/07/18/presidential-groping/ Really? This isn't doctored? None of it?

Right, swearing, I get that. But: mouth full, whiney, and now gropey? Forget "Demmiecrats want to give all the money to the winos and druggies and let men marry livestock" and "Republicans want to destroy all life as we know it:" this guy really is a drunken frat boy. Can't we at least unite against druken frat boys?

I'm going to go out and conveniently find Jesus during my tenure in public office...

Monday, July 17, 2006

No signal to no noise

Due to the economic pressures of my very extreme rare china dolls collection (re: owning a business and being a participant in a house-buying plan) I'm fluxing about my entertainment future, specically:

Do I drop all of cable? Do I keep basic cable? Do I get a satellite dish and tune into free channels? Drop everything and get NetFlix again? Find stuff online?

... sadly, some of these options kill my head-clearing Halo 2. Well, it's sad that I'm bullet-training to 30 playing Halo 2, but still.

On my mind...now! Right now! Now!

- Rob Liefeld is a nut

- downstairs A/C = Halo 2 playin'

- macaroni coulda been cooked longer

- can't remember who I was supposed to give that estimate to tomorrow

- displeased that the combo drive died in this PowerBook

- Elkton Town Council meetings are just as goofy as international summits

Friday, July 14, 2006

Double A, M-C-O

I'm running through Season 3 of Curb Your Enthusiasm and rembering why I love it: Larry David against the world.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Really? Pirates?

I've read accounts of kids dressing up as pirates for the new Pirates of the Carribean movie, and my first reaction was "Will Kiera Knightly still be less pretty than Orlando Bloom?" followed with "Huh."

I like that the kids are putting forth the effort. But my first thought was "Am I that freakin' out of touch?" I applauded the goofy, geeky fun of the father and son with towels around their heads at the Hitchiker's showing. I wanted to beat the crap out of any guys I've ever seen in Star Wars outfits. But I was perplexed by the pirates and their popularity... until our web manager Jeremy expressed his confusion by the new Pirates movie shattering all box office expectations and being, what like the Number Onest Number One Movie of All Time?

Jeremy hasn't seen the first Pirates, and truth be told, he ain't interested. He doesn't go in for a touch of fantasy or sci-fi, something that's slightly off center. Unlike Amy who can be coaxed over to the side of "Yeah, this probably isn't going to happen, but it's a pretty decent story" from time to time, Jeremy is not that guy, that's not where his tastes lie. Which is perfectly valid way to be.

Except I will never understand it. Most people, maybe they dig fairytales. Or maybe they're hardcore SF fans. Or maybe they'll watch zombies get the crap kicked out of them because it's a condemnation of a society so hell-bent on materialism and capatalism that it doesn't see when it starts to cannibalize the very principles it was founded to protect and cherish. Plus it's cool when zombies get blowed up. Stories with an inhereit improbability, a lack of "this could happen" framed around a good story.

You may love The Princess Bride and Star Wars but not give a hang about Lord of the Rings. Maybe The Matrix leaves you cold but Raiders has you giddy and clapping like a school girl. I submit: Pirates is a success because of three letters: j-o-y.


The first movie is a story about a young woman freeing herself from societal, famial, and contextual bonds. You've seen the movie, yes, the first one? Yeah, Jack wants the Pearl, Will wants Elizabeth and to know his place in the world, but the catalyst, the pump-primer is beanpole Knightly. Even when she's not full acutalized, she's pretty much there. And her actions have a sense of joy.

Johnny Depp's Captain Jack is nothing but freedom (or want of freedom) personified. He exemplifies the pirate lifestyle (there's much to made arguing Sparrow's real place in the story and his demi-god status as the aider and abetter to Will and Elizabeth but I'm already running late). Sparrow owns and operates in the joy of living and breathing.

Yeah, it's got great actors, good effects, great pacing, superior direction and a stunning color palette, all adding up to these little girls putting on pirate outfits in Small Town USA for the 1:30 p.m. Sunday showing. J-o-y. That's what I'm saying.

Which is not to say the new Pirates is the same as the old Pirates.
That review is forthcoming.


Really? I'm going to spoil the movie.

The only moment of pure joy I remember from Dead Man's Chest is Jack's death scene. No, after the Kracken snots on him: "Hello beastie," then we get that spectacular shot as the music swells and Jack raises his sword, running TO death. He knew it was coming, and in that moment he still had confidence (confidence being the not the abscence of ambiguity or doubt but choosing to face it head on expecting the best possible outcome) in himself to meet certain death head-on. Jack is flawed, for sure, but his character is about being free and making choices, refusing to believe there are no more options, willing options into being.

With no other course of action available to him, Jack meets death with the same zest and joy he met life.

Jeremy would say that movies are not places to "learn" "life lessons." If somebody walks out of the theater contemplating their personal follow-through when staring death in the eyes, I'd say that's pretty decent food for thought from a movie produced by Jerry Bruckhimer.

Pirates of My Pants

A pirate walks into a bar. He has a steering wheel down the front of his pants.

The bartender says "Hey, what are you doing with that steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies "Aarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Now HERE'S the best movie of the summer

Hot dog!

On track?

Freein' up some time, getting back on track. Probably.