Vulgarathon: Day One

I'm changing it up: instead of thinking about a bunch of random posts of things I forget to write about, I'll stick with a theme. And that theme is... vulgarity.

Sometimes I have to loop around Court Square to get to and from the office. If you've been downtown, you probably know Hole in the Wall, your friendly neighborhood porn store. I seem to be one of the few people I know who hasn't been in Hole in the Wall, and I'm not looking to pop that cherry any time soon. A couple of the Downtown Players (not Shirtless Guy and Son, Other Shirtless Guy, or Snuggs) are usually outside the store in the afternoon, out, you know, gettin' it done. In front of the porn store.

Yesterday, post 10 a.m. haircut (I tried it after 7:15 but would've had to wait 45 minutes) I saw a group of four kids(including one girl) in front of Hole in the Wall, which was still locked, replete with bars.

One of the dudes who hangs out in front of HitW, Long-White-Haired-Guy-Always-in-A-White-Tee-Shirt-and-Blue-Jeans, was just getting to his section of wall as a HitW staffer was rolling back the bars. LWHGAWTSBJ looked at the kids like they were impeding on his territory. I felt their awkwardness from two lanes over.

It struck me: the kids might be waiting to get into HitW. At 10 in the morning! And again I was struck: who buys porn in the morning? Really?

If you're buying porn, I'm thinking it's, at the earliest, a mid-day kind of thing. Does anybody really want Ass Babes 5 at a time when Regis is on? And why the hell aren't they ordering porn off the net?

Usually, during my 7-noon time, I'm pretty productive. I like some music, some podcasts, and I try to get the time-sensitive stuff done first. I don't think porn would be a good thing at this time, and I certainly wouldn't want to wait on the dude to open the store. You can still get Playboy at the 7-11 (or Barnes and Noble I'd guess) so you could get your naked ladies that way.

I don't really have an out here. It's too late to be cogniscent of anything other than wanting to see some naked chicks...